Puppet
by Through the broken glass
Summary: Jill, the new Alice...or at least in her mind.Find out what happens when insanity uses jill as its puppet. Is Alice really Alice?
1. Murderer

I don't own Alice.or the game.heh. I personally think that game is seriously disturbing, but that's what makes it so kick ass! Anyway, read and review, please. Put in what you think.anything.even horrible, horrible, self esteem altering opinions. Thank you ^_^  
  
Puppet  
  
I listened to the music echo through my room. The terrified screams of my parents drowned the music box notes. Finally, they had awakened to find me with my hands wrapped around my tiny brother's throat. Shrill voices pounded at my temples, making my entire body ache.  
  
"Alice! Stop! Stop!"  
  
Mother had ordered me to stop my violent acts before, but now she seemed dazed and helpless. Almost as if she didn't understand why. Why I had done it.why am I doing this? A question most 'gifted' children ask themselves. I stupid question. A predictable answer.I was doing this because my reality was being destroyed by his constant noise. He screeched, and thudded his petite feet along our hard wood floor. The sounds of his stirring reached me in my dormant basement. The quiet shattered forever. All because of a small boy and his childish happiness. I must kill him!  
  
"ALICE!"  
  
Another voice.my Father. He's on my brother's side, just as I had suspected. My name.it hurt to hear it repeated and repeated by panicky voices.  
  
"Alice? Who is this Alice? She no longer exists.she has been taken by me.The Queen." I spoke.after so many years.I let myself be heard by the mortals that raised me.  
  
My mother babbled something incoherent to me. She was sobbing like a child, but my pale, cold hands still grasped tightly around my brother's neck. Smirking, I let go.my brother was limp; dead. Turning to my mother and father, I reached for the prior sharpened blade beside the straw bed. It was the puppets bed.  
  
.................................... Ok, well, that's it for now, but the next chapter IS coming. I repeat IS coming. Anyway, it gets better.I just didn't know how to start the dream.she'll be visiting her old world in just a while. Keep reading. Oh yeah.and Alice isn't the real Alice.it's a child who thinks she's Alice and everyone who talks to her calls her Alice, but that's just in the child's mind.ok.that makes absolutely no sense.but it will. 


	2. Insomnia

"Falling. That's all I've remembered since the night I killed my brother." I sighed slowly, unevenly just to help the effect of pure dolefulness. I really was sorry about my brother, but not the part where I killed him. After all, he did deserve it. He was the one who took my home from me. When he was born my parents gave the little brat my comfortable room and I was left to fend for myself. I slept on whatever I could fine, until I discovered the stack of hay outside the walls.which was formally used as an insulator during the freezing winters. I set it up in the storage room as a bed.so I could at least sleep.  
  
It was cold.and to pass the time I would read. My favourite book was Alice.Alice in wonderland. Once I finished the book for the fifth time, I felt like I was her.and then, I met Alice.  
  
It was a Sunday and Mother and Father had dragged me to the church. I was dressed in a ragged white dress, which barely touched my ankles. It was supposedly my best dress, but if Mother would quit being so stubborn and let me wear her grey dress then I would be better fit for Church. Anyway, once we arrived, I sat down on the cold, hard bench. The wood was neatly polished, with carvings of vines scattered across the top corners. I remember tracing my slender fingers along the roses that twisted beneath the vines. Church was one of the better memories. I felt safe and warm there, especially when the choir started to whisper the words of angels. The words seemed to pulse and come to life, wrapping each sweet melody around me. All of us would stand for the songs. We would read from the books set under the benches, singing the songs as sweetly as our hoarse voices could. My Brothers voice was horrible, it rung loudly, drowning out that of Alice's. Alice.she sat alone in one corner, at the back of the church. The back doors were close to her; four isles across from us and seven back. She always sat there, by herself, with her plain blue dress and white apron. They looked like work clothing.but much more fashionable than my hideous Church clothes.  
  
Sometimes, when the Church had quieted, I would sneak out of my seat and out of the back doors, just to glance at her. Of course, when I returned to my seat, it was cold again and my Mother was not exactly happy. But, oh, just to glance at Alice.to see the dejected thing.it was almost magick.  
  
"Alice?"  
  
I snapped back to reality, returning my dull chestnut eyes to his horrid penetrating eyes. The psychiatrist still was racking his mind for the answers. He wanted to understand me so horribly.it was almost frightening. "Yes?" I answered quietly.  
  
"Have you slept lately?" he asked, lowering his black rimmed eyeglasses with his pudgy little fingers. His cheeks puffed for a moment.he was holding his breath and waiting for my reply, impatiently.  
  
"Not in five days, sir" my eyes slipped back to the floor and my head began to pound again. Perhaps my sanity was present for the time being, but it certainly wasn't going to last incredibly long. The conversation needed to end, before he caught on to my sudden urge to take a delicately sharpened blade and stab him repeatedly.  
  
The short, plump man took his time, removing his glasses from his wide nose and twisting them between his fingers. He was attempting to look like he was thinking.although, it was clear he hadn't the brain to do such things. Finally, he allowed the sophisticated smartass toned words to escape his rose bud lips "I'd like to prescribe some drugs to help you get some sleep. Would that be alright, Alice?"  
  
I would've disagreed to the prescription, but arguing with the doctor (even though he asked my permission) was unacceptable. So, I nodded my head weakly and pushed myself from the comfortable black chair. He smiled at me, as if he were proud and slipped a prescription in my hand.  
  
"Have a good day, Jill"  
  
Although I was slightly unsure of the name he had given me, I still left the expensively decorated room. Jill? Jill.it didn't sound familiar. Perhaps the Doc had merely forgotten her name. After all, she was Alice.wasn't she? 


	3. Into a dark dream you drop

I couldn't sleep. Not at all. I shut my eyes and then opened them for the tenth time. It was nearly one in the morning, but I still couldn't manage even a half hour of silence and rest. In the next room, Noodle (the newest member to join the asylum) was screaming insanely about something trying to steal his blanket. Apparently, when the poor boy went to sleep, three white mice.who happened to be blind, came and took his blanket to keep their nests nice and warm. It hadn't made any sense.all the words he shouted. but for some reason I understood. Even understanding wasn't enough; listening to Noodles constant screams of absolute terror were not enough to make me sleep.  
  
"I need the drugs" I whispered to myself. The sound of my own voice startled me, especially since it sounded eerily cold and shuddered with a sort of uncertainty. Still, I shoved the uncomfortable covers from my shaking body and sat up. Shifting myself a bit, I snatched up the two white capsules on the night table and stuffed them in my mouth, immediately swallowing them dry.  
  
Around one thirty, I found myself slowly drifting. Drifting into a peaceful world. Finally, I would be joining the others in a dream world. I shut my eyes and the shadows surrounded me.Noodle's voice suddenly vanished and the silence prevailed. The dreams began.  
  
"Into a dark dream you drop"  
  
"When you fall, the dream won't stop"  
  
The words drifted past me and into another place, echoing off of the walls that I could not see. It was damp; I could feel the cold water drip from the top of wherever I was. The feeling of falling fell over my body; my stomach lurched forward, protesting the sudden inability to be on the ground.  
  
"Alice, would you like a bit of tea?" A screechy voice, tangled with a British accent crept into my ear, forcing me to hear whatever it spoke. "You always have time for tea.especially when you're all alone without a care. You obviously have no where to go and it is quite a wait until the bottom comes into view." The queer voice continued.  
  
I was about to speak, when I realized a tea cup had been directly placed into my hands. The steaming liquid licked my nostrils, filling them with the scent of sugar. When was the last time you have eaten? I thought to myself, and lifted the cups rim to my lips, sipping it cautiously. As soon as it hit my tongue and gagged horribly. The liquid burned my taste buds with a monstrous flavour and blistered my lips. I spat it out and coughed violently. Why on Earth had it tasted so awful? I shook my head and tossed the tea cup away, not wishing to have the poisonous drink near me any longer.  
  
The tunnel rattled and began to twist, before a gush of light flashed brightly into my eyes. It was coming from the bottom.or at least that's what I believed. My beliefs were confirmed when I hit the floor, roughly, rolling to the side. The fall was not painful at all, in fact, it was almost soft. So, I sat up and then pushed my self up, brushing the dust from my dress.  
  
I blinked and shut my eyes "what is all this?" I asked myself, keeping my eyes firmly on the dress. "Why am I wearing Alice's dress?" I continued to stare at the light blue dress, a white apron wrapped tightly along with it. It was much prettier than how I had seen it before. On Alice.it seemed much duller. The colour less new, much more wear to it, but the one I wore, was bright. Around my neck was a chain. I wrapped my fingers around it and traced it until I reached a charm. A horse shoe.how intriguing. The chain felt warm against my skin, so I assumed I had been wearing it for a while.perhaps even when I was falling it had been on? No, that couldn't be.if that was the case, the charm would've floated above me, while I fell. Well, it didn't matter.all of this was a dream. I was insane and dreams like this were quite predictable.  
  
"You've come again?" I jumped back a bit and hit the wall, the rough edges of the stone digging into my back. The voice wasn't what had frightened me.no the dark twisted voice wasn't frightening at all. It was the grin that appeared in front of me that was much more surprising. For, there was not a person to go a long with it. Nothing, nothing at all accompanied the grin. Only the white, carnivorous teeth were visible. How eerie.  
  
"Well, I'm not sure if I've returned. I'm not exactly sure where I am. And.and.what exactly are you?" I asked, stuttering every second word.  
  
The grin grew wider and soon, bits and pieces of an overly skinny cat began to come into view. The cat's tail swished back and forth, contently.the boney structure almost creaking with each swing. Its eyes glowed like a passionate flicker of a candle. The yellow orbs suddenly surrounded by flesh, marked with several ink drawings. Symbols mostly.ones that twisted and swirled oddly. The tips of its ears reached thinly and stood solid.completing the face of the queer kitten. I watched as the rest of its thin body finished appearing before I spoke. "A Cheshire?" It was more of a statement then a question, but the cat still replied.  
  
"Indeed. You are talented in the ways of stating the obvious. You are Alice, aren't you? You seem slightly different. Your eyes are Brown and you're much shorter than the Alice I saw last."  
  
I smirked, understanding the dream now. I was Alice. Alice was me...and now, I was in wonderland with all of the evil creatures that dwelled in the mystical realm. How exciting! "Why, of course I'm Alice. Although, I am not the same. The one that visited you last."  
  
The Cheshire nodded slowly. "Ah yes, I've been expecting you, Alice. This time you won't be following the rabbit into Wonderland. I'll be guiding you." The cat's words hissed; its eyes slitting as it spoke. "Time to go, there are creatures to visit." 


	4. Walking to Meander

I watched the Cheshire approach the wall which surrounded both of us completely. He stood for a very long while, before finally twisting its boney neck to glance over at me. "Alice, do you know the pass word, yet?"  
  
I shook my head uncertain of exactly what he meant. Was I supposed to collect a password from somewhere or someone before I arrived? It was a question my mind seemed to wander back to each time the cat glanced at me. The Cheshire was waiting for me to give him a password, although I knew I had none to name. So, there we both stood, waiting for absolutely nothing. It was quite pointless and for a while, I would've sworn an hour glass had swung past us several times. Finally, I spoke in a dull tone, almost as if I were being drained of all energy as time passed. "I haven't any."  
  
"Haven't any, what?" he asked in reply, licking the edges of its gray teeth.  
  
"Password"  
  
As soon as the words had escaped my dry lips, the ground began to growl. Not only growl, but groan and creak and beg to be let free from the Earth. The stone had suddenly developed tiny cracks, which zig zagged below my feet. The very moment it touched the corners, the walls too joined the floor in allowing painful moans sound from beneath. Throughout the odd happenings, the Cheshire and I both remained perfectly still. Even one step forward or perhaps even a step back would break the ground completely and drag them into another hell.  
  
Soon enough, the stone halted its angry rant and silence was left in its place. Dust gathered close to us both as the dirt settled. The Cheshire blew the cloud of red from our eyes and revealed dilapidated stone below a large window of vast amounts of grass. He stared up at me with his usual cocky grin and simply said "yes."  
  
It became clear to me after we had entered the world of grass land, that perhaps the password was.password. I sighed at the very thought, being over come with a great frustration. Wasn't this going to be fun.?  
  
The time was slow as we walked towards what seemed to be nothing. The Cheshire said very little until I mentioned something about it all being a dream. Without warning the creature spun around, his hind legs straight, making his back arch and his eyes a flare with a rage deeper than any other I had seen in, without looking in the mirror. "A dream!? Alice, are you sure you have visited before? You know what you must survive through. Ah.but perhaps you do not?" again, his tail swung from side to side.almost as if it were his fingers rubbing his chin as he thought. "No, no.we shall wait to see how you deal with your puppet. Let us hope you are a talented puppeteer."  
  
Again, silence banished each echo. Silence began to take over much of everything and so did the darkness. Everywhere they stopped to rest or to chat about the upcoming creatures, darkness remained. Night was alone. Alone forever.  
  
"Password?" a voice from far ahead shouted. There were no buildings or beings to be found, but voices beckoned from every direction. The Cheshire glanced up at me questionably once more, expecting me to know immediately. I had not the slightest clue to what it would be at that moment and Password would be an unlikely answer for the second time. Unless, the creatures in the invisible world were as stupid as they sounded. They truly did sound stupid. Their voices were like a clown after drinking a little too much. Still, I whispered the word "Password" once again and, once again, the world was shown to us.  
  
I had expected much more from this world, since the living things that dwelled inside of it could create a sort of invisible dome over top of the small village. In fact, their village was quite disgusting to walk through. Garbage lay scattered across the dying lawns of the homes, the homes themselves were barely able to stand on their own. Some of the occupants had built support beams on the side to keep their rectangular homes from tilting to one side. Even the side walks were bent out of shape, swiveling onto the gravel roads and off into the purples lakes. For some odd reason, I did not believe the lakes were purple because of my own imagination.it must've been some sort of poison. In the distance, one could see a fair going on. 'Christmas fair' was painted above the buildings, where many of the creatures crowded. For such a disturbingly ugly village, the beings themselves were absolutely beautiful. Each creature was tall, with slender long legs and soft blue skin. Their hair looked as if it were painted with brilliant colours stolen from the rainbows. Some had violet hair, others blue like their skin, and some even vibrant greens. The only thing that seemed dull about the new species was their eyes. All of them had either brown eyes, or just plain black orbs. That was what gave their vileness away. Yes, the eyes, I could seem within them.the dead nothingness that lay deep inside. They were enchanting things on the outside, but in the inside.pain and carelessness thrived.  
  
My feet felt cold when the skin had been set free from the boundaries of my black, slipper like shoes. The air bit at my flesh and marked my face with red. How could the creatures live in a place so freezing? Before I could consider the question, I pulled my other shoe from my foot and began to untie the white apron from my figure. The clothes seemed light when I dreamt of them in the past, but now.the fabric was out weighing me.  
  
"Err.I'm Meander."  
  
The tone was like the others.filled with a mocking, slurred accent. I froze. Not all of my clothing was to be removed, but it would've felt much better if none of the creatures managed to wander toward me. Rather unhappy with the interruption, I lifted my head and turned to face it. "Meander? That's your name?" I sneered and went back to untying the thin cloth.  
  
"Yes, Meander. Cheshire has left you here, it seems. With me."  
  
Again, I glanced up. Cheshire had been directly beside me just a few moments before, but now he had seemingly vanished. Now, I was left with a 'boy' named Meander. It was easy to tell he was male, although most of the creatures looked alike, because his feet were much smaller than the female's feet. All of the females at the festival had proven larger feet than the males. For a while, I ignored him, but he made it nearly impossible after only a minute. He kept shoving his hand in my face, expecting me to greet him kindly. Finally, I grasped his smooth icy hand with my own and shook it once. "I'm Alice, pleasure to meet you Meander. Would you mind, Sir, if I called you Me for short?" I smiled, Me would be horribly confusing for me to use. Still, he accepted happily and removed his hand from mine.  
  
"We look like Puppets." he mentioned as I sat down by the purple lake. My legs were swollen from all of the walking and my stomach ached for food, but I refused to eat anything at the poisonous village. It would be unsafe. What if the tea I had tasted earlier was the very food from the village? I would not be surprised.  
  
"Yes, you do.you're all quite wonderful to look at." I complimented against my will.  
  
"We are.puppets." He continued, keeping his black opals on me. "Cheshire brought you here for a reason, Alice. To help us. Remember when you were younger? Before you came to the asylum?" he paused, careful not to miss my reply. However, his pause did not encourage a reply.instead, I remained speechless. "You had a puppet. It told you how cruel your family had been to you. Making you sleep in that cold place, with that uncomfortable bed, and with that awful tasting food. You remember, don't you, Alice?"  
  
My head began to hurt. I could feel billions of demons bang at the walls of my scull, trying to break through. Me was making me insane. He was forcing me to remember something I had tried to forget for so incredibly long. Meander was driving the sanity away and blessing the insanity with horrid stories that should've been deleted long ago! I could still feel the blood on my hands.it was dripping like the sarcastic tone Meander was using to imitate sympathy! My mind burned!  
  
"Now, now.I can see that, Alice. I can see you remember." He smiled innocently, and brought his delicate fingers to my shoulders, squeezing them with unexpected strength. "That Puppet you had was not your friend. It was a test, Alice, to see if you'd resist. The puppets name is Clown. He was sent by us to make sure you were capable of resisting its tricks. Our people, the Tigga's, sent Clown to you to see if you were the right Alice. Jill.that is your real name? Maybe you've forgotten? Yes, you have. Jill.you were a mistake." 


	5. Sobbing Sanity

The Anger still bubbled like a cooking soup, but I prevented any violent actions from willingly escaping. Of course, I could only hold them back for so long. I'm only human. And without much warning I stood up, wandered over to the apron and, I simply dove my sweaty fingers into the pocket of my apron, removing a light blade. It did not look as if it could break any skin, but when I slashed at his left arm, a warm liquid immediately enshrouded my cheek. It burned in a way, but my absolute delectation managed to banish that awkward feeling. He winced, and squealed. He sounded like an animal.a banshee. Perhaps he sounded like a banshee with a bit of a pigs tone. I smirked at the idea, but agreed to it.  
  
"I haven't the time to deal with creatures who only wish to insult their savor. Now, stop your sobbing and tell me where those little tidbits were leading." I tilted the thin blade between my hands, motioning Me to complete the story so I'd understand. I hoped it wasn't just to make my life a little less enjoyable, because if it was, there would be hell to pay (If Me wasn't already in a hell.).  
  
When the blade had torn away the soft skin from his bones, Me had flung himself on the ground, the grit gathering from the 'Earth', pouring on the painted sky, his eyes filled with blue stains. "A-Alice." He muttered beneath heavy breaths. The cut was not deep enough to cause serious problems, but Me had not taken it well at all. "Th-the Puppet was a test. You failed it. You weren't supposed to give into the toy. You remember when your mother brought it home, don't you? She said not to touch the box it had come in. She said it was," he stopped suddenly to catch his breath but took up the explanation once again hurriedly. "She said it was Pandora's Box and that if you opened it, all the pain and sorrow would escape. But, you didn't listen. You disobeyed your mother and you opened the box, just so you could see that precious gift. Puppet." He shook his head, showing how very ashamed he was of her. "Now look what you've done! Our home was so beautiful before you took the doll in as your own, letting it influence your weak mind as it willed. You listened to its suggestions and you murdered your family!" He spat out dribbles of thick blue liquid, the juice sizzling as soon as it hit the dirt. "You humans make me sick! Didn't you ever dream of what it might've done to us? Didn't you ever feel guilt?"  
  
I glanced at him, the dark peaces of my eyes shifting nervously. Maybe I did feel guilt. I couldn't tell anymore. That voice that had nagged as I planned the murder was slowly fading, making it speak in less than a whisper. Then, the sap I had assumed was blood reminded me of that voice. It forced me to see what I had done and even if the voice was a whisper, I could still hear it. "I-I'm sorry." My fingers curled tightly around the blade, before I finally loosened the grip and dropped it. I too, dropped to the ground, my arms shaking, my eyes filling with tears (although the ground was never soiled with them, since I brushed each away). I was sobbing. Sobbing like rain in spring. Sobbing like my little brother. Sobbing like my little brother sobbed before I killed him. And all I could say was "I'm sorry."  
  
"Jill? Jill? Walk up now, before I send for the Doctors!"  
  
I opened my eyes. The room was silent, except for the usual neighbor whom I recalled. Noodle was screeching again, but not about those three blind mice who snatched away his blankets. No, this time he was screaming about how Alice was back. 


	6. Riddles

It was so quiet. The lights were dimmed and the hallways were cleared of every patient. The nurses were dozing off in their little office, with their little chairs, and their little coffee cups, just trying to make sure everyone else unworthy to wander the halls at that moment were hidden beneath their covers in their rooms. I was alone in my room. There was a time when many had slept beside me, a child named Lily, Noodles was there with me for a while, and a woman named Iris too used to dwell in the same room as I. I cannot remember why they left me.except for little Lily. She was there because she had attempted to kill herself by slitting her wrists. Several strands of long messy scars, punished her skin when she first arrived, I eyed them forever, wondering why such a pretty little girl would wish to hurt herself. She was pretty, I recall. She had long honey curls, that bounced when she walked, with bright emerald eyes, and ivory skin that felt like ice if you were brave enough to touch it.  
  
When she sat down next to me in the freezing room, her long mangled arms wrapped around her tiny form and I noticed she was ready to speak. She wanted to talk to me.she wanted to open her pretty little lips and tell me something oh so dreadfully important. She wanted to tell me how her soul was tortured, how her father murdered her mother, how her mother murdered her brother, how everyone was unkind, but I did not wish to listen. When I do not wish for something, it is usually prevented.either that or it was prolonged.  
  
My mind did that thing it does.where I forget who I am and where I am. I forget so much. I forget. I forget. I forget. I hurt her. That I remember.I always remember afterwards and I want to forget. I hurt her horribly. Perhaps she wanted her life. I forget. All I remember is the screaming and that poppy water pouring from my hands into the sink of the metallic bathroom.  
  
I wonder if anyone remembers what I did, because the pain is starting to build. Not to mention the guilt.  
  
"Hello Jill. I was afraid you wouldn't wake up." My concentration was ruined by that same small man who fed me the wicked drug that forced me to dream of things I do remember. I did not stare at him with my usual tired eyes; in fact, the ground was paid quite a bit of my attention in his stead.  
  
"You were afraid for me. How kind of you to be afraid. I was afraid as well." Surprisingly, my voice was calm and smooth. I sounded like my old self. Not only was I surprised with my comfortable tone, so was the Shrink. He sat down be side me, by my bed, pulling the blankets away from my knees. My blue outfit that resembled Alice's had vanished and in its place was a thin black fabric. It did not highlight my prettier features.  
  
"What were you afraid of?" he asked, taking the blanket and folding it over my feet neatly.  
  
For a long moment, I was silent and I think he really did believe I could not speak at all. "I have a riddle." I told him, snatching the blanket and pulling it over me again.my body began to shiver. Suddenly I was so cold.so very cold.it hurt to shiver. Still, he nodded, ignoring my sudden shaking. "What has no spine, but in its place a string? It is pale as a vampire, as silent as the night, as delicate as a glass window, but resembles a girl? It is not real.it is artificial, but the feelings can be real when one creates them for the thing. Do you know what it is love? Answer the riddle for me, please?  
  
He narrowed his bright eyes, thinking it over as if it were a life or death situation, but he did not get to answer the riddle, for Noodle had entered the room and was screaming at the top of his lungs "Oh, Alice! It's a Puppet! A puppet! A delicate puppet!" He laughed insanely, slamming the door and running off, several nurses following behind him.  
  
I smiled softly and took his hands in mine. "He's right you know. It was a puppet. I was afraid of the puppet." I began to cry. I began to scream. I began to sob and shout and tell him how much I hated being Alice. How much I despised being part of something that I shouldn't have been part of. And then.I told him I remembered. 


End file.
